The dubiously famous Hovander Imperial Resort was burned to the ground today in a suspicious fire.
Local Ferndale residents were astounded to see blasts of flame shooting 10s of meters in to the morning sky as the private airfield’s fuel supply was touched off. Fumes and toxic smoke have traveled as far as Everett and local residents are requested to remain indoors or wear rebreathers.
Resort spokesperson, Kendall vanderOranje, is quoted as saying “We are concentrating on getting our guests back to their various corporate enclaves safely. While we have had several employees severely injured we are determined to ensure that our guests return home safely.”
Viewers should recall a previous story about the strange and slightly repulsive AR and RL requirements of the Hovander. Recreating British Imperial times means that no metahumans are permitted on site and that all of the agreed upon AR imagoes must be of Caucasian decent.
To date there has been no proof of allegations of Humanis Policlub affiliation.
Dirty Laundry Winery Wins Prestigious Award
Local winery found out that they are to be presented with a gold medal from the “Association d’elegance du vin”. Dirty Laundry entered several wines into the Biennial competition and their ‘Unfaithful Whore’ rose was named best in class for all rose.
“We find that the slight barnyard odour we purposefully impart with the overall lush and slightly fruit forward flavour has made our Unfaithful Whore offering very approachable in the mass market and also the palates of wine speculators”. Mr. Bourdain was happy to speak to us at length.
When asked about the strong name for such a lively summery vintage, Mr. Bourdain began with the story of the brothel that was housed in the main winery before drifting off and ranting, “take that you ungrateful bitch, Louise! I have it all and you are probably stretched out like a limo you ungrateful cheating whore!” before tearing off his trousers and running through the vineyard.
Okanagan Truck Stop Firefight
A massive firefight erupted this afternoon at a truck stop servicing North-South transit on the 97 Highway. Shocked employees and customers dove for cover as several seconds of automatic fire and magic lightning bolts left 2 dead.
Police were unable to find useful security footage but several of the rigs were able to make out 8 survivors that made getaways in road vehicles.
Two bodies found were a brother and sister, Wendy and Viktor Browne. Wendy was allegedly executed in her car with an unnamed police member saying “Her body was completely ripped up, what kind of maniac does this?”.
Wendy was recently dismissed from her security job at Hovander Resort. Police are investigating if this had anything to do with the suspicious fire at Hovander earlier in the day.